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Mar 9, 2021

Proof there can be hope, healing, and love after loss.

Widowed author Autumn Toelle-Jackson joins Emeric for part one of an epic four-part series.  We savor her memoir Boldly Into The Darkness: Living with Loss, Growing with Grief & Holding onto Happiness--a treasure trove of wisdom, observations, and actionable lessons you might expect from an ancient Tibetan guru widow.  Autumn is barely in her thirties.

A taste of part 1: Love. Loss. Hope. Repeat

Autumn is a fierce self-professed planner (aka control freak?). Joe is a handsome cattle rancher and engineer.  They marry in their mid-twenties and plan out their life.

But does Life obey plans?

Not all of Autumn's.  Autumn perfectly plans her pregnancies and over and over...she miscarries.

Time marches on.  Plans get back on track. Autumn and Joe are blessed with kids.  They have a three-year-old son and a two-week-old baby boy.

Joe, he's thirty years old, has a disciplined exercise schedule because he's getting into extreme physical shape for an Alaskan backpack hunting safari.  The kind of shape where you have to be good enough to outrun the next guy.

Because where Joe is going...Brown bears hunt humans.

Late one normal night, while Autumn preps the kids for bed, Joe leaves the house for a routine run.  Except for this time, it's not routine because Death doesn't discriminate by age.

Joe never returns.

Autumn, now thirty-one with their three-year-old son and two-week-old baby boy, is suddenly widowed.


  • Boldly into the Darkness
  • Once Upon a Time
  • Autumn the Planner
  • Getting Pregnant at Will
  • Control Freak Timing
  • I'm Sad. I'm Okay. Go to Work.
  • Depressed--I Didn't Know
  • Crying by Myself
  • You're a Really Good Cow
  • Nothing Else Can Happen
  • What's on the Roadside?
  • The Worst Joke Ever
  • Screaming 911
  • Was it a Hit and Run
  • He Was Only Thirty
  • Why the Why Doesn't Matter
  • How Much Life Insurance?

Thanks for listening. Join us for part 2 of 4 with Autumn Toelle-Jackson.

Winner of the Illumination Book Awards' 2021 Silver Medal.

Autumn's memoir Boldly Into The Darkness: Living with Loss, Growing with Grief & Holding onto Happiness can be purchased at her website (Includes grief resources as well as merchandise and the book.


Paperback: Available at your local independent bookstore.

Also available through Amazon.  

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Hope. Heal. Find love again.

Until next time. Bye!

~ Emeric

My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary