Sep 7, 2021
Four book recommendations for the widowed.
Three authors have been on the podcast as widowed guest co-hosts. The fourth author is not widowed. Her book was recommended to me by one of the widowed guest co-hosts.
Now, I’m not going to have an author on the show if I won’t recommend their book. That would be awkward.
And I only recommend books I have read.
When I read, I underline. Write notes and questions in the margins. If I feel the book gives enough value (sorry I can’t define enough), I’ll book a recording appointment with the author.
Before I have the author on the podcast, I reread the book and make 8 to 12 pages of handwritten notes for a podcast recording session.
I’ll never recommend something to you if I don’t feel it delivers value. Value is subjective, and your definition of value is probably different than mine.
To me, a non-fiction book delivers value if I get something out of it. For instance, an actionable tactic, or a different way of looking at a problem. Or something exhilarates me. Helps me heal. For me, the list goes on.
I’ll never make a recommendation if I don’t feel it delivers value.
Okay—Back to the books, the authors are from different walks of life and a wide age range—30’s and up. Big city to a small rural town. All in the United States.
All the authors are female. Refreshing for me as a male—these books come with an added bonus. Because you get insight into women. Their perspective, thoughts, challenges, fears, emotional needs, and wants. What’s important in their relationships and more.
In other words, how to treat women. I wholeheartedly believe understanding and acting on it will make you a better listener, friend, lover, partner, or spouse.
The overall theme with all the widowed authors' books is with their story, their experience, and in some cases, their professional expertise--they want to help others. That’s you and me.
Like you (I know that’s an assumption), the widowed authors didn’t want to be part of the widowed community, but what I see is they choose to find meaning in their suffering—beauty in their odyssey.
And they summon the courage to write and share intimate details with you—in the hope of helping you, to feel seen—to feel heard.
To give you hope so you can heal, find love again, and give grief the middle finger.
Links for the authors' books, websites, and podcast episodes are below. Most of the authors have more resources on their websites. Resources you might find valuable.
If you are a member of the MSDToo community email list, that’s where you get Behind-The-Scenes details and Show Alerts, I’ll email you details and all the links so you can click to your heart's content.
And … if you’re not a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, consider joining. Takes less than 32 seconds. Join at myspousediedtoo.com.
I recommend you read the books, then listen to the respective episodes to get a powerful feel for the widowed author. For me, that’s a selfish pleasure I get from reading the book, then hearing and seeing the author live!
Thanks for listening. Links are below.
Boldly Into The Darkness: Living with Loss, Growing with Grief & Holding onto Happiness by Autumn Toelle-Jackson
This link above is to Autumn Toelle-Jackson's website with resources and her book.
Autumn's Podcast Episodes: 43 44 45 46
the rebellious WIDOW: A Practical Guide to Love and Life After Loss by Jill Johnson-Young, LCSW
Jill's website has tons of resources.
Jill's Podcast Episodes: 51 52 53
The Good Widow: A Memoir of Living with Loss by Jennifer Katz, PhD
Jenny Katz's link takes you to her website where you'll find her book, blog, and discussion guide.
Jenny's Podcast Episodes: 65 66 67 68
Getting Naked Again—Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You’ve Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted by Judith Sills. PhD
Getting Naked Again link goes to Amazon.
Happy reading and listening!
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